Deer in the Headlights

Does anyone else have this happen to them when they look at a menu?!

We've been craving sandwiches from a certain local sub shop for quite awhile now, and just waiting for payday so we could indulge. We poured over the menu ahead of time, talked about certain sandwiches with other family members, trying to get ready for the big splurge! (Should I be embarrassed that we were this excited to get sandwiches?)

I still couldn't decide by the time we got there, so my thoughtful hubby let me go inside to order while he sat in the car with the kids and played pool on his phone. I had extra time to think...and think...

Finally, it was my turn to order, and I blanked out. "Deer in the headlights" all the way! I asked the gal what her favorite was, so I ordered that instead. (I know...)

Fast-forward to home...we're so excited we can't wait to get started. Family movie ready? Check. Kids' food ready? Check. Yummy sammy ready? YUK. Yuck Yuck Yuck! (Have you seen Boston Legal? Think "Jerry" here.) Bless my husband's heart...he traded me part of his sandwich for mine. That's true love! He didn't have to do it, but I didn't refuse very hard, either...

I hate Deer in the Headlights Menu Disorder! No wonder my husband spends so much time looking over the menu finding food for me before he even looks for himself--it's so he doesn't have to share his dinner later!

Now his...his was tasty.

JOY comes in the morning!

22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

~Lamentations 3:22-26

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

~Psalm 103:11-12

Pouting and Praising

What's on my Mind? Sick kids, sunburns, pink eye, fevers, ear infections, spider bites, strawberry-rhubarb pie, not wanting to clean the kitchen, eye appt, tomorrow's Friday, laundry piles, day-old coffee, my Bible (which is actually my husband's, but I like the version), weeding, and switching the girls' winter clothes out for summer clothes, clutter...that's it for now...

2 Corinthians 12:9-- "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

AND

"Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!" (That part's not from the Bible, FYI, but I did find this verse, which is eerily similar: “Now gird up your loins like a man..." [Job 38:3a]--that's God, speaking to Job there.)


*******************
I allow myself the occasional rant...er, sharing, that is. I just finished reading about King David, and I am so happy our Heavenly Father made a "man after God's own heart" to be someone that was free to share. AND YET...because I have the precious Holy Spirit dwelling in me, He gently nudges my conscience immediately following and redirects my heart and mind to put my eyes on Jesus. I'll never be perfect, but I want to be perfectly in love with HIM. The best part about being imperfect is knowing that I NEED Jesus, and I get to see Him perform acts on my behalf! When I am weak, HE is strong...when I am afraid, HE gives me a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind, and HIS perfect love casts out all fear! When I am discouraged, HE brings joy in the morning. When I am tempted, HE has already undergone those temptations and been the victor...HE will help me! When I just have no words, HE intercedes with the Father on my behalf. When I am lonely, HE will never leave me nor forsake me. When I am hurting, HE has sent the Comforter to live within me. When I am weary, HE has mounted me up on His eagle's wings and carried me! When I am confused, HE has promised wisdom. When I am worrying, HE has told me that God will take care of it all! When I am poor, HE has blessed me and promised me eternal treasures. In fact, HE IS my treasure!

Mothering is not for the faint-hearted, that's for sure! But God has promised in Isaiah 40:11~

"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young."

That's me! I have young...that means HE's gently leading me! I'm HIS lamb...that means HE's tending me and gathering me in HIS arms! What better place is there to be?!

On the bright side...I already have dinner in the crockpot. See, things are looking up already!

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
~by Erma Bombeck~


I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculped like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment, realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . . look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back."

MOSAIC LOVE

The other day I sat at the kitchen table in the early morning, drinking tea and trying to get through my devotions. I have been more tired lately, and have been struggling with getting up early, but on this day, I had won the battle with my blankets! I sat there, striving to focus on my Bible, while all the nagging thoughts of everything that needed to be done that day swirled around in my mind. Constantly I would pray to take every thought captive so I could focus and learn, and yet it was a moment by moment battle, and it felt like I just wasn't going to win. Then one of my children woke up earlier than usual "needing Mommy."

Really? Not only was my mind at war with me finishing the lesson I got up early to do, but now I was "interrupted" by my child who needed me. "Why can't I get any peace around here?!" I thought to myself. Instantly, I was filled with shame...here I sat, trying to do my Bible reading, and not only could I not maintain focus because of all the thoughts of my "to do list" I was having, but I was feeling annoyed that I got interrupted from "doing something godly" to care for my child. :(

See the irony?! I want to be more like Jesus, and here I was presented with an opportunity to minister to my own little child, and I was bothered because it drew me away from what I thought I should be doing. It was at that heart-breaking moment that I realized anew how broken I really am.

I asked God to please help restore my vision so I could see Him and His calling on my life, instead of my "to do" list of life. I am broken, but not hopeless. I prayed earnestly that He would fill all my many gaps...and right there, during my prayer, I immediately got the image of a mosaic. I LOVE mosaic artwork...I have always been drawn to it. God knew how to whisper to my heart that morning....my gentle Jesus showed me a picture of fractured beauty only He could know would minister to ME! I am fractured pottery, and He is the cement that fills all my gaps, cementing me to His Foundation...He is the most important part of creating the beautiful image of a mosaic! I have beauty because I am made in His Image, but apart from His cement, I'll never be anything but fractured pottery--broken clay. When I allow Him to fill my gaps and hold me tightly to His Foundation--my Rock of Ages--I reflect the workmanship of my Creator God, my best Friend, my Savior, My Beloved, my Redeemer, my Prince of Peace, my Wonderful Counselor, My Shield, My Shelter, My Almighty God, My, My, My...I am my Beloved's and He is mine! O glorious day to be reminded again of His tender loving care. I just had to share.

Will the REAL me please stand up?

Don't you hate it when you have a great idea then don't follow through? Me, too. I've been trying to write off and on for years in different formats...devotionals, blog attempts, etc. I enjoy writing! I just can't seem to find the right niche for it yet.

And another thing--it seems like most women I know are the amazing homeschool moms who have it all together, make bees-wax candles, can, garden, clean, paint their house, sew, sing in church, juggling it all--and ENJOYING it all!

Then there's me.

I keep patchworking homeschool curriculum to cover the basics, don't usually wear make-up unless I'm leaving the house, and if it wasn't for my crockpot, we might not ever eat on time! I have gained and lost the same weight repeatedly for years, still forget to floss my teeth sometimes, and can never finish a cup of coffee without reheating it several times...

I have tried to be everyone else and have met with dismal failure. I'm no Suzie-Homemaker-Martha-Stewart-Granola-Homeschooling Mom. I'm just me. I think the next half of my life, I'll focus on being the best ME that I can be for the glory of God! I'll never be any of the famous, godly women I so admire, but I can be ME...wife of the most loving, patient husband and mother of 4 pretty maids all in a row. While I am in awe of noble women of the Bible, I identify with Erma Bombeck! I celebrate if I get home from the grocery store with all my kids AND everything on my shopping list!

I think I'm just starting to grasp and believe that I wasn't an accident...God really meant to make me ME--on purpose! Since I can trust Him to know what He's doing, then I think I'll put myself in the Hands of my Maker and see what He designed me to be...who knows? I might be in for a wild ride!

~Blessings & Joy in HIM to you!